Becoming the Reluctant Author

The telling of family stories planted the seeds of my book, “The Kindness of Color” (2021). There were stories I knew from my childhood as well as stories I uncovered in family pictures and keepsakes. Stories unearthed when I started going below the surface and asking more questions of my family and myself. Stories I heard from the Mendez family when our families connected for a few short years in the midst of the 1940s and World War II. Weaving these told stories together became like a jig-saw puzzle until the whole story and full picture was finally revealed, but I still never intended to write a book.

As Sylvia Mendez and I shared these family stories to others, we found that our intertwined family stories inspired hope to those who heard them. This is a story of two families who met through a mutual small town banker in a time of crisis. Both encountered different kinds of prejudice, but at the core, the same ugly racism. Yet, throughout the story, acts of kindness from family, friends, and strangers nurtured hope for a better future, not just for them, but for generations to come.

I met Dr. Jeff Hittenberger, then Chief Academic Officer of the OCDE (Orange County Department of Education) and Dr. Al Mijares, Superintendent of the OCDE, as I was invited to a committee for the City of Westminster’s Mendez Tribute Park in 2016. The OCDE was taking a significant role in creating all the historical panels for the park and ensuring it was a field trip friendly site for future class trips. From the start, they urged and encouraged me to write a book on the story, but I wasn’t thinking about writing and I really didn’t see the vision they saw. What I did begin to realize was that whenever I would share these stories, I found so many who never heard of either Mendez v. Westminster or the Japanese American incarceration of WWII. This historical gap and the exclusion of this history was disturbing. It felt like an intentional exclusion of multi-racial history where not ALL American stories were shared.

Then on a summer day in 2019, I was having appetizers with Cousin Keiko and her husband Scott; her dad was my mom’s cousin George. Sitting at a patio restaurant. I was sharing the stories of my father’s family that they never knew. Suddenly, a woman at the table next to us turned around and said, “You should write a book! Oh, sorry, I was eavesdropping and heard your story.” I found out she was a published author, Dolley Carlson, author of “The Red Coat,” her Irish-American family story in Boston. She wasn’t kidding, she was serious. We shared contact info, finding out we had friends in common at church. Coincidence? No, I know this was now just another direct encouragement that God put in my path. I now really started to consider writing the story down.

I started writing in July 2019. I never thought it would be a book, but out of respect to Jeff, Al, and now, Dolley, I thought I would write it up, give it to Jeff, and they could put it on the OCDE website or share it with local history teachers. It only took me about 4 months to write up the verbal stories of our family and those Sylvia Mendez told as they were so familiar to me. On July 29, 2019, I went over to Sylvia’s house to get a few details - names of people, places, and correct spellings of names - but for the most part, the story was well secured in my brain.

As I continued to write, I uncovered so much more - one story led to more questions, and more questions led to investigating and researching to fill in the gaps of this true story. In all, what I most love about this story is that it is not just a Mexican American story or a Japanese American story, but an up-lifting multicultural story of what can happen when we collaborate in community. It is a symphony of how the kindness of many - White, Mexican, Japanese, Jewish, Black, Native Americans - can help to overcome adversity and nurture hope for the future.

Finally, I sent it to Jeff and said, “here you go!” with the expectation that I was done. His email to me was “Great, now put it all in the first person!” Well, now I was committed, so a few months later, I delivered 130 typed pages as a story with a working title, “A Small Farm,” told from my perspective. His reply, “This is a book. Go publish it, but figure out a better title.”

“I don’t know how to write a book!” was my consistent reply. But now I was feeling that this was not just a personal project, but a calling from God. Both Jeff and Al thought so as did Dolley, my new eaves-dropping, encouraging friend. It was pretty clear that God sent Dolley to impress further that this story needed to be shared as a book.

So there I sat, in mid-2020 with 130 pages, I had no idea what to do next. “Lord, what do you want me to do with this now? In retrospect, I could have spent hours googling, “How to publish a book.”

Then it came to me, “Call Drew.” Drew Tilton is a friend from seminary, and a former youth pastor at my church. I recalled that he had been ghost-writing and editing some curriculum for pastors at his new church. Maybe he would know someone who could help me. It was a “divine” call! When I told Drew what I was working on, he said, “send me what you have.” He was just deciding to launch his own business, Asio Creative, to help people write, edit, and self-publish! So I sent him the 130 pages and waited to get his perspective. He enthusiastically got back to me with the now familiar phrase, “this is a book.”

This was the start of what I experienced of God’s direction and provision every step of the way. I had to lean into it, start writing, get a 130 page draft, and then God would show me the way, through Drew and others, of what to do next. This felt like my version of the journey the biblical Israelites took in the 40 year desert journey of following the cloud as God directed. When the cloud moved, they moved, and when it stopped, they stopped. I just prayed it would be a more direct route for me.

Believe it or not, I had 130 pages of text, but still no title for the book. I had a long and accurate, but not very inviting subtitle: Mendez, et al. v. Westminster, et al. and the 1947 desegregation of California public schools. Not exactly, anything that would draw readers in to a story no one would expect. I knew it had to have the word kindness in the title as I chose to highlight the many instances of kindness offered to both our families in the midst of adversity and discrimination.

So one day while I was out walking in my neighborhood, I asked the Lord what should be the title…kindness what? I remember exactly which block I was in when it just came to me! “The Kindness of Color” was His reply! It was perfect and I found no other book had this title. Early on, a few people suggested I change it to “The Color of KIndness” but I stood firm. It was the kindness of many people of color that pivoted our story - not that kindness has many colors. I was thrilled with the title. I started to think that maybe, just maybe this really was turning into a real book!

In a very unexpected way, I met Bob Goff, three time New York Times best selling author of “Love Does,” “Everybody Always,” and “Dream Big.” He asked me what I was working on and I told him a brief summary of our story. Then he said, “send it to me, I want to read it.” YIKES! It wasn’t even edited, still the 130 pages of my working draft. That was on a Saturday and I figured he would forget. But on Monday, I got an email from Bob, “don’t forget to send me your story!” I sent it with a big caveat of it not even being edited yet, and I got back the now very familiar email reply: “This is a book.”

How clear did God have to make it for me to own the fact that I was now writing a book, not a story, not an article, but a book. FIrst, Jeff and Al, then Dolley, and now Bob Goff! With this encouragement, I started to really own that I was writing a book, though it took me more time to own that I was becoming an author.

Drew had some great suggestions of how to design the arc of the story. It is not easy telling a story of 2 different families & cultures, an Executive Order and a separate federal court case, and then the unusual collaboration and kindness found in this history. He suggested that my brief paragraph on the history of California should be expanded; it became a whole new chapter.

We had to decide on consistent wording and phrases, such as Japanese-American or Japanese American, non-hyphenated, and whether to use the term internment or the more accurate incarceration of the WWII camps.

I did make a list of every friend that was an author, some self-published and a few with literary agents and major best-sellers. But none of them were in the historical non-fiction space.

The advice I did get from those I reached out to was consistent: self-publish. The search for a publisher would take a few years, if any were interested at all. Most publishers were looking for authors who already had a public persona that they could leverage to sell books. No one was looking for me, especially with a story that happened over 80 years ago. I was especially warned that publishers would want a story that would “sell” and might require I change the story to a fictional one and embellish or change it to have more appeal. I knew that wasn’t where I wanted to go with the story, so my first major decision was made. If I finish the book, I’ll self publish it.

As it often is, once I made that decision, I got more clarity. I wanted to have a printed book for 2022, the 75th Anniversary of the Mendez, et al. v. Westminster, et al. case. If anything, I’d like to have it for Sylvia and her family that anniversary year. In the midst of the covid pandemic, sooner seemed better than pushing it off.

And finally, I was ready to hire a line-by-line editor for grammar, punctuation, and clarity of thought! The collaboration within the story was also part of the writing and publishing of my book. It takes a team to take the pages on my laptop and create a published printed, electronic, and audio book. Many authors say they feel alone on the journey of writing, but I never did with this wonderful team of colleagues.

Drew introduced me to Jessica Snell, editor extraordinaire, who thoughtfully and superbly edited the manuscript, polishing the text till it shined. Jessica has an expertise in editing and offers wonderful suggestions to make the most of every idea and every word on the page. What a small world it was to find out that Jessica’s mother was Dr. Betsy Barber, one of my dear professors at the Institute of Spiritual Formation, Talbot Seminary, Biola University. I was under Dr. Betsy’s leadership for my spiritual director practicum and cherish her wisdom! Now her daughter’s talent and wisdom were a blessing to the book.

The next step was to find someone to layout the book, with special attention to the picture placement in the text. Drew introduced me to Natalie Lauren Design. Natalie created an inviting design that complements the story and offers hospitality to the reader. From a pdf to a book to website, Natalie’s talent in layout design and graphic placement brought the manuscript to life as a book, as well as the website! Her parents were founding pastors of a church some friends attended south of where I live. Again, God kept providing His people to come alongside me when I needed them!

Finding a designer for the cover art was more of a challenge. In looking at so many popular book covers, I found none that seemed to fit our story. Bold colors, angular graphics were eye-catching on the bookshelf, but they didn’t communicate the heart of our story. I looked at covers for books on Japanese American incarceration but most had dark clouds, barbed wire, and looked ominous - not inviting at all to a story of little known history. I did online searches, asked many friends who they knew who did graphic design, interviewed some but came away with nothing. Lord, who would do this design? I waited.

I got the sense the book cover needed to “extend kindness” in some way. Perhaps open hands offering help. The setting of the farm suggested that there be a thriving plant in the midst, overcoming adversity. But I still had no graphic design contact to illustrate the cover.

One day, I got a text from a friend who I had asked weeks before if he knew any graphic designers, and Paul had said none he could think of. Well, Paul now texted, “what about May?” May, one of the worship leaders at church, is a wonderfully talented musician and vocalist, but I didn’t know her as a graphic artist. Paul replied, “look at her Illustrated by May instagram account.”

As I scrolled through her posts, there it was - an open hand holding a small rooted plant in it! I couldn’t believe it! This is nearly what I had envisioned!

I contacted May and found that as she read scripture, God often gave her a vision to draw. This open hand and plant sketch related to John 15:4, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” It was the perfect verse and one of my favorites as it echoed the theme of my dependence on God for every step of my life, and now this publishing journey. Describing what I was thinking of for the cover, May delivered the cover design in less than a week!

I later found out that May had been discouraged about her graphic design business, and I was actually her first paid customer and first book cover! God’s timing is perfect! He delivered May to help me when I really needed it and this project blessed and encouraged her when she really needed it too!
God is so good!

With the cover, I was now ready to have books printed. Using a local printer seemed like a good idea and Drew had a name of someone nearby, though he did not know him well. So I made an appointment and went over to meet him. As I walked in the door, the printer said, “How do you know Pastor John Thomas?” John and his wife were friends from church. The printer had found me on Facebook and noted friends we had in common! Yes, God even selected the printer in advance for me!

As I think of this journey, the biggest lesson for me has been to lean into the unexpected and unknown, especially when I do not know the way. It’s the perfect training for me to follow the Lord’s leading, step by step, depending on His plan, not mine.